“Why the hell did no one tell me that!”
This was something that repeatedly popped into my head after having Mini K and I quite shocked that 6 years on this is still things people fail to be honest with you about.
So you’ve just created and carried a beautiful baby for 9 months, you’ve then just been through an agonising birth – what else could there be?
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t naive, I was expecting some pains and I didn’t expect to have a flat tummy right away – but I wasn’t sure what I was expecting and to be honest I was that busy been told and reading about pregnancy and birth that I also didn’t think too much about what happened afterwards.
- Keep pushing!
What?! I’ve just pushed a baby out and now your telling me to push again?!
Don’t worry, your not suddenly having twins (or one more than you expected) this is just the placenta your to push out.
- Aye that’s just afterpains
I remember being told to expect “afterpains” but what exactly does this mean?
These kind of feel like contractions and they mostly happen when you are feeding your baby.
- Geez a swatch!
So you’ve just gave birth which already involved your dignity going out the window, well anytime a midwife comes to check on you expect this. In fact it can get to the point you say “Hi” and instantly open your legs.
Every midwife in town who see’s you the following days post birth will want to see.
- Shittin’ it to pee!
Worst. Pain. Ever.
Well, bar labour obviously! The first pee is certainly the worst but I will tell you now it takes days to get better!! I got to the point I was terrified to go to the toilet because of the pain. It stings so bad.
- The first shite…
If you remember when your in the pushing stage of labour the midwife will be telling you to “push into your bottum” (not actually out your bottom, but into it)
Now this isn’t painful it’s more the thought of doing the poo that terrifies you. You may feel like all your inside are going to come out but don’t worry they’re not!
- Hunners a blood
Yes, as most of you may know there will be bleeding/blood clots post birth.
Make sure you have lots and lots of maternity pads, change this every time you pee and expect this to last anywhere from 2 weeks to 4 weeks.
- Am I preggo again?
Ahhh, the wonderful wobbly pouch you are left with post-birth.
This will of course start going down in the days/weeks to come but it really does feel weird!
- Am goni greet
Your hormones are everywhere, your exhausted and everything has changed.
As much as you were preparing for this for the last 9 months it still feels like a huge shock to the system.
Don’t worry, it really is ok to cry. 2 days after having Little M I was making a sandwich, dropped literally everything I took out the fridge and then stood there crying about it.
- Leaky boobs!
Yes, the most glamours of all things to happen…
If your breastfeeding or not you will get wonderful leaky boobs! Make sure you wear breast pads and also be prepared to wake up with a wet top.
- Everyone will want to see your new bundle of joy
Of course family and friends will want to come round to see your new baby but you’ll be surprised at how many people you’ve not seen/spoke to in ages or even those your not that close too try to come round.
Remember you have just had a baby and it is ok to say to people your not up for visitors.
It’s also ok to cancel on close friends and even family! Again, you’ve just had a baby! If you’ve arranged for someone to come over but on the morning of that day you’ve had an hours sleep, no shower and feel shitty – thats ok!
So, that would be my top 10 things people seem to “forget” to tell you. Is there anything you would add?
After writing about my labour with Little M I decided it was about time I wrote Mini K’s too! Albeit 6 1/2 years later…
I fell pregnant with Mini K when I was 18. I was 19 weeks pregnant when I found out and it was a huge shock. My initial thinking was a long the lines of, “holy crap.”,”WTF.” and “Nahhh this can’t be true. Can it?!”
It was scary to say the least and I had a shit load going on at the time.
Because I didn’t find out till 19 weeks I was put on high risk, meaning I had constant appointments to monitor everything – I didn’t complain, this meant more scans!
Pregnancy wise, I sailed through it to be honest. Everything was fine, I was fine, all was good.
Back then though I refused to be in any pictures so I think there is only about 2 or 3 of me pregnant and I refused to be in any photos taken in the hospital – there’s only one of these and now I’m so happy there is.
Mini K was due on the 7th July and of course thinking this was my first baby I presumed I’d be late, but she decided to make an appearance 3 days early!
So what happened on the 4th of July?
woke up with cramping in my stomach, didn’t think anything of it so went back to sleep.
Woke up again, pains were getting worse. Still didn’t think anything of it.
Went downstairs and had a cup of tea, chilled out for a bit and then went for a shower.
After doing fake-tan, makeup and hair (yes, yes I did.) I decided it was probably about time to go to the hospital.
Arrived at the hospital.
I was just about to get checked over from the midwife to see how far I was when I had the sudden urge to push.
I was then wheeled through next door to the labour suit (although I couldn’t even sit in the chair!)
Mini K was born!
I had not time for gas and air let alone anything else – it all happened so quick!
With this birth I was definitely much more relaxed and chilled out. I will say as well, I have a high pain thresh hold so this is probably why I was able to hold off for so long going to the hospital.
I’d say as well that since this wasn’t a difficult birth it made me so much more anxious about Little M’s which is why I was asked to stay in the hospital from the Monday to Wednesday with him.
It’s crazy that my first birth was 6 hours and my second 46! Just goes to show literally every birth is different and one thing I learned was do not beat yourself up if you go off your birthing plan! Go with what feels right for you at the time.
Dear Mini K,
In no time at all you are going to become a big sister.
Time is running out of us being a family of 3 and very soon things will change.
I remember when I found out I was pregnant with you – I was 18 and lets just say a bit daft at the time. But, the day I found out that I was expecting my whole life changed forever.
I’ve tried so hard to be the best version of me for you. And as long as you are happy then I am happy.
My heart aches each morning I drop you off at school and I feel so full of pride each day I pick you up. I want the best for you and all I want to do is protect you.
For years you have asked for a baby brother or sister and when we found out we were expecting again I couldn’t wait to tell you.
I love doing “feelings time” with you where we chat about how we are feeling (happy, nervous, excited, worried…) and then explain to each other why we are feeling that way.
You have been absolutely amazing to me while I’ve been pregnant, giving me lots of cuddles and massages and plugging things in for me or picking this up for me. You are amazing. Thank you.
The other day when I sat and cried looking through your things, I was crying because I feel so proud of you and can’t wait to see you being an amazing big sister.
So much is about to change.
I’m excited to see where this new chapter takes us.
I will always love you, no matter what.