Only child… no more

Since Little M was born Mini K has became very attitudey (not a word, I know) towards me.

Now don’t get me wrong, she absolutely loves her little brother. She plays with him, sings to him and reads him stories… but Mini K’s relationship with me has changed.

When I was pregnant with Little M I tried to prepare her the best I could. We would lie in bed each night and talk about how  we were feeling welcoming a new member to the family and we would explain why we were feeling that way. But of course, and I’m not stupid, no amount of conversation could prepare her for the amount of change that would be happening.

As many of you know, I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant with her and 19 by the time I had her.

I was terrified.

I was so scared about her being born and me not knowing what to do. So scared of the unknown.

Labour was quick with Mini K and the minute I held her I didn’t know how to feel – my emotions were all over the shot.

But, I knew no matter what, it was me and her and I’d do anything  for her.

Since Mini K was born, everything I have done has been to protect and to give her the best life possible.

Without Mini K, who knows where I’d be right now… in fact, who knows if I’d be alive right now.

I was on a very dark slippery path.

I love my daughter so much.

She’s 6 years old and has just became a sister. She is no longer the only child…

As much as she has embraced being a big sister, and is an amazing big sister, she’s struggled with it too.

She’s started giving me quite a bit of attitude and constantly answering me back and being cheeky for no reason so I questioned her on this last week…

Her answer broke my heart but me and C had talked about this and knew this was why she was acting out…

Mini K told me that she felt me and her weren’t close anymore. She said I spent all my time with Little M and that she felt I had no time for her and that I was too tired all the time so she didn’t want to tell me how  she was feeling and she didn’t want to make me upset.

When she explained all of this to me, I tried to hold in my tears but I couldn’t. This girl means the world to me and we are so brutally honest with each other that it broke my heart that she kept this bottled up.

That night we lay in her bed and talked for ages. I told her how sorry I was our relationship had changed but it didn’t mean my love for her had changed.

This little girl will never know how special she is to us.

But, I told her that night that she is my superhero because she saved my life – and one day I can’t wait to explain to her how.

I love you Mini K, more than words could ever explain.

xxx

 

 

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