It came as a massive shock as neither of us seemed ready to raise a baby we were both so immature, out drinking a lot with friends and no concept of responsibility. We were in complete shock and didn’t quite know how to feel about it.
A few weeks later I started bleeding and was took into hospital for an emergency scan where they couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat. They told me not to panic and to stay on bed rest for 48 hours, they said the heartbeat was due to start that week so it just might not have started yet. We were convinced we’d lost our baby and it was then that I realised I wanted to be a mum and was actually happy that I was pregnant.
When I returned to the hospital for the 2nd scan my mum and dad came with me, all 3 of us were convinced it was going to be bad news. The midwife took me in for my scan and much to my surprise they found the heartbeat! I was over the moon, I couldn’t believe it. Then in December I returned for another scan and found out that we were going to have a baby girl I was so excited!
I was still attending college, doing a beauty therapy course. I was due to finish the course a month after my due date so to finish it I was having to do night’s aswell to get my assessments done. It was hard work balancing a bump with my assessments, as I’m only 4ft 11 and my bump was measuring bigger than it should of been.
In January my boyfriend left for the army. I felt very alone with my bump but remained supportive of him. He rang me every night while he was away and we were getting on brilliant with no arguments, then everytime he was on leave we’d have massive fall outs. I don’t know if it was just my hormones that caused it or not but I just felt alone as he spent most of his leave with his mates. Eventually in march we broke up, he was out drinking with mates and rang me up drunk ending things, the next day he said he didn’t even remember breaking up with me and wanted me to forget it happened but I was too hurt to take him back that easily.
For the sake of our unborn daughter we remained good friends and still spoke on the phone every night while he was away. With him being in the army we knew there was a massive chance he wouldn’t make it to our daughters birth, he was given a weekend off 1 week before my due date so we knew if I didn’t go into labor that weekend he wouldn’t make it.
That weekend I went for the sweep, done lots of walking, ate spicy foods, tried everything I could think of and then at 6am Sunday morning my waters broke. When they broke they were green though so I was told to go straight to hospital, but because of how early it was I couldn’t get in touch with her dad. When I arrived at the hospital they told me that because the baby had a poo if I didn’t go naturally I was going to be taken for an emergency c-section.
A few hours later I managed to get in touch with her dad and a couple hours after that he got to the hospital. I was given an epidural to ease the contractions but it only worked on the right side of me so the left side felt like I had really bad cramp. There was still no sign of me going naturally so I was taken down for a c-section and at 6:39pm.
On May 16th we welcomed our beautiful, 7lbs 5oz, daughter to the world. I couldn’t believe how perfect she was, she was so tiny with a mop of light brown hair and blonde highlights – her hair even amazed the midwives and she never lost any of it! We called her Libby and neither of us could quite get over how we had created something so perfect.
Me and her dad decided we were gonna work on things and become a proper little family, by August that plan was out the window. He was on 3 week leave from the army, went on 3 holidays and only seen libby twice so that caused a massive argument. A few weeks later things calmed down and once again we decided to try again. In December he finished phase 1 of his army training so he was on leave for a few weeks and I thought everything was going to be all happy families. but once again we fell out.
It was a few days before new years and we had a silly little argument that just escalated into something bigger. On new years eve I heard he was out with a friend of mine, I quizzed them both and they denied anything was going on and said they wouldn’t do that to me. Days later I got a call telling me they were together. The hurt was unreal that he would do this to me and a friend would stab me in the back like that. Worst part was that she has a son 1 week older than libby and he spent more time with her and her son than he did with our daughter.
It felt like a nightmare and I ended up with depression, I struggled to trust anyone and I couldn’t bring myself to eat. I went to see a doctor and was given anti depressants and was referred to a councillor. It took a long long time before I was myself again as I was having regular arguments with libbys dad as he was coming in and out of her life for months at a time. Thankfully I still live at home so my family have been amazing help and support as I went through this, I really can’t thank them enough for everything.
In May 2011 Libby turned 1, I couldn’t believe it the year had just flew. She was amazing just such a happy little girl that could always put a smile on my face. Then in September 2011 I returned to college doing a creative hair and media make up course. About a month later I met my boyfriend Sean, he understands the situation I’m in with libbys dad an remains supportive of me when I need him. Libby absolutely loves him he’s so good with her, she doesn’t see him often but asks for him everyday.
In January 2012 I booked Libby’s christening for April, I decided not to tell her dad unless he seen her because he had disappeared again. 4months later he still hadn’t been in touch but I felt guilty that he didn’t know so I decided to tell him anyway. He attended the christening and seen Libby a few weeks after it. He then continued his usual pattern of coming in and out of her life as he pleases but all I can do is accept it as he is her dad so I wouldn’t stop him from seeing her.
Libby is now 2 and she is so clever, I can’t believe were the times gone. She’s grew up to be my best friend, I talk to her about everything and her cuddles are enough to make me forget all my problems.
Despite all the drama I went through and the ups and downs I wouldn’t change my little girl for the world, and all the drama has made me a stronger person in the long run.
A lot of people look down on me because I’m a young mum but I think I’m no different to other mum’s. Yes, I dealt with silly teenage dramas and had bad arguments with her dad, but I kept all that away from libby, she’s never seen me shout an very rarely seen me cry. No matter what I went through or whether her dad was around or not libbys having the happiest upbringing possible and enjoys days out to exciting new places everyday. The massive bonus of being a young mum is that I still have all the energy to take Libby to exciting energetic places all the time, this week alone we have been the zoo, the park, the beach, went on trampoline bungees, boat rides and other little rides. I get a lot of funny looks when were out cause I look younger than I am but all I can say is look all you want all you’ll see is a very happy, intelligent, well brought up little girl and one very proud young mum.